@alice @danirabbit I had a big dog, I wanna say Rottweiler, run at me while I was walking my puppy. I still don’t walk by that house anymore.

Dogs terrify me and I have two of them…

@jamie @danirabbit ugh yeah. I frequently see that with people walking dogs.

Also sorry for missing CW

It’s understandably difficult to feel like part of an out group. Remember not all cis girls get periods either. But there’s also other symptoms associated with a period besides just menstruation that many trans girls do experience. Might be worth tracking changes in sleep, mood, appetite, watching for symptoms like headaches, night sweats, dry skin, diarrhea, stomach cramps, fatigue, acne. You may be having a period, it’s just much less obvious if you’re only looking for menstruation

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Not sure I understand this statement. Trans people are more likely to be unemployed, poor, or face homelessness. Four times more likely to be assaulted, including sexual assault. 3 times as likely to go hungry. That’s before getting to the issue of accessing healthcare, so there are some big material needs issues in our demographic. Access to counseling is super important, but given the choice between therapy and a safe home with food and HRT, I know which one is more important to me

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Lol someone sent me the AI Ben Shapiro doing the “Which country is 🏳️‍⚧️ and why are all the girls from there so cute?”

It’s because we finally love ourselves! Trans glow ups are such a thing because it’s like you finally get to appreciate who you are and your body and your place in society and liking who you are as it turns out is a very attractive trait

The thing you have to take into account is that going through natal puberty is also a permanent life altering choice. Puberty blockers are safe and reversible for kids who think they might be trans until they can be diagnosed. Forcing trans kids to go through the changes associated with natal puberty is not only traumatizing and painful, but it means those adults will have to undergo completely avoidable surgery and treatment to reverse what they can and just accept what they can’t

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Yes absolutely, I’ve done a decent amount of traveling and California is my favorite place in the world and I love living here. It’s beautiful, there’s so much good food, places to visit, things to do, diverse culture to experience

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I’m really sorry to hear that, anon. I wish I had good advice for you. I’m not a parent but I imagine that is a heartbreaking experience. My first instinct is family therapist. I really hope that she can find a way to accept you as her mom!

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Hmm I mean, I’m definitely not the arbiter of what it means to be a leftist, but I would say it’s hard to be a leftist if you don’t support trans rights because trans rights are mostly bodily autonomy rights and medical privacy rights which have a heavy overlap with like reproductive rights. But as far as understanding that trans people are the gender we say we are, I’m not sure that’s a political statement in and of itself. That’s just something true I guess 😅

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You know it’s funny, I was talking to Alice about this the other day. When I first came out and was still boymoding it was very convenient to have a gender neutral nickname, but now that I present female full time there are some instances where I would prefer people call me Danielle just so I know for sure that I’m not being misgendered lol In some ways makes me wonder if I should have done a bigger name change. But yeah Dani is still fine, I just also like hearing my full name :)

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Spicy take. I feel like I’ve seen more veterans that were pushed through the system because they had no other opportunities and have come out of the system disabled and hating the military, so I’m more inclined to see veterans as victims of the system than perpetrators of it personally

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For me this has two parts:
1. I do think hate speech should come with criminal penalties, and in the US it does not.
2. I don’t think jail is efficient or effective for most crimes. I think our justice system should focus on rehabilitation over punishment. So I think sentencing for hate speech should probably look like a class on diversity and inclusion, maybe community service, and I think imprisonment should really only be a punishment if someone has been deemed an actual danger

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Aww this has to be one of the nicest things anyone has ever said to me! I’m really glad that I’ve said things you find valuable 🩷

Definitely not Gen X though lmao, my parents are Gen X! I have Gen Z siblings! I’m right in the middle of Millennials 😂 Aging me a bit, anon. Must be the wisdom 😉

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No and I don’t intend to. There’s no value in consuming propaganda.

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That’s a lot haha. Thanks 😅 Not sure of your gender anon, but in case you’re a guy you’re still straight lol and if you’re a girl, congrats on the gay! Happy pride haha 🏳️‍🌈🎉

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Haha I dunno that I have one besides like food. I like chocolate and ice cream and cheeseburgers and French fries and milkshakes and pizza and fried chicken and all that

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Hm great question. My favorite series is Legend of Zelda but I think I like that there’s all kinds of different characters. Link is the hero but I think all the other characters tend to shine more. I do like the fancannon of Link being trans masc nonbinary, that’s a lot of fun to me.

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My desktop is a Laptop With Linux mini: https://laptopwithlinux.com/mini-computers/

And my current laptop is a Lenovo Yoga 900, but I just ordered a Star Labs StarLite https://us.starlabs.systems/pages/starlite

You can buy both of these with @elementary OS out of the box and a portion of the sale supports development 🩷

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I don’t have a lot of thoughts here other than I’m glad there’s folks dedicated to making sure you can run an open source OS on a wide range of hardware. I think MacBook is still one of the most popular laptops in the US so it’s good for those to not become e-waste.

Though I would always recommend supporting OEMs that are Linux-first! There’s some great hardware these days you can buy with your favorite distro pre-installed and a portion of your sale helps fund software development

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I’d like to daily drive an open source mobile OS, but I’m very uninterested in using Android.

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@danirabbit ~ I happily used Kubuntu for over a decade on a number of laptops. I am now using Ubuntu on a Dell tower(Ubuntu is only O/S) for a couple of weeks and even happier.

@danirabbit it did actually surprise me that nixos offers pantheon as a desktop environment option when i tried it :0c

Oh hey thanks anon. I try! I do. I mess up a lot. But I really care about other people and I do my best. I really want to leave my corner of the planet just a little bit better than I found it

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Thank you, anon! I really appreciate the compliment. Passing is a major transition goal for me so it means a lot to hear that. It does make me feel a little conflicted though that passing and beauty are so often tied together. This may not have been your intent, but I want to acknowledge and hold space for non-passing and gender nonconforming folks that are also beautiful and to say that beauty doesn’t have to be binary :)

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Oh for sure. In spaces where people don’t already know me from my open source stuff, I keep my transition pretty need-to-know. I’ll never be able to stealth because you can pretty easily google me and like some of the top results are about me coming out. I’ve been subjected to a lot more online hate and harassment. But also, if I did just transition quietly then I wouldn’t have made as many awesome Fedi connections and I hear from folks that my posts help them understand trans folks

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lol I’m aware. I need to take it in to get it fixed but I just haven’t made the time

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@danirabbit fwiw you and a handful of other trans fems whose work i admire all came out around the same time, and it being public very much helped to crack my egg 😊 so it's definitely a positive for one person! 💕✨

I’m definitely not qualified to answer this question. Maybe I have followers who have done this that can comment?

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Okay what about something like:

Wanna play COP29? You can get real hot and I won’t stop drilling you

@danirabbit 🤷‍♀️ it was a good question. Wish I would have asked it.

@danirabbit lead with "Wanna play earth and oil baron?" maybe?

Thanks anon! I’m a person who loves to learn things and I always hope that someone else benefits from the knowledge I’ve gathered. I want to be useful and helpful!

Hehe well I am single soooo 😜

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I’ll always advocate for communicating your feelings and needs directly and assertively. Something I’ve learned in therapy is this template for communicating where you say like “When you [discourage me from presenting as my gender in public], it makes me feel [anxious]. I want to feel [supported by you]”.

I think it helps to point out that you are listening too by saying something like, “I’m hearing you’re concerned about my safety and that makes sense. I’m worried about it too”

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Yes! There’s some variation based on your vaginoplasty method but I’ve opted for a soft tissue graft from the colon which is stretchy and mucousal, so it will be self lubricating. Also the prostate is left in place and is analogous to the skene’s gland. The clitoris is formed from glans tissue etc so everything will be fully functional and sensile.

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I don’t have strong opinions about init systems, but my feeling is that people that are opposed to systemd are just being weird. Every major distro uses systemd. It feels uncontroversial to me

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Deadnaming is never okay. This is completely inappropriate and hurtful. Imagine if someone got married and their family kept calling them “Ms. MaidenName” behind their back. That’s obviously inappropriate and they should be angry about it. IMO there’s a very short grace period for deadnaming and then it’s no contact. Nobody ever comes out with a bunch of excuses about “oh it’s so hard, I’ve known you as Ms. MaidenName your whole life”. It’s easy to respect someone’s identity

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I think it’s normal to feel like different things are important in retrospect. If that’s what you felt was most important in that moment, I think that’s okay! You really cared about a thing. Whether you did or didn’t make an impact, the act of championing a concern is something I think you can feel proud of :)

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lol somebody tried to be a shithead and say I look like a man. I dunno bud I just found out one of the regulars at my pub thinks I’m super hot. Gonna trust their opinion over yours 😂

Thanks anon 🥰 after spending a lifetime feeling ugly and hating my body, I now feel really good about the way I look. I’m proud of the work I put in to have the body I want and I feel really capable of expressing myself with my clothing, hair, makeup, jewelry etc. I’m the most myself I’ve ever been and it’s hard not to feel really good about that!

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@danirabbit When people talk about the "danger" of "AI", that's usually what I think about, too. So much of this is about compromising our own senses and our own understandings of reality. It's the same thing we do with film and video games, and sometimes that's really good and interesting, but what's different here is people are actively inviting it into our real lives instead of confining it to a box that we understand is for pretend.

This is either a reference to the hit tv show LOST or the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland

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Nice try officer. I would never pirate television shows or movies and I certainly didn’t pirate tons of music on limewire as a teenager. And I’ve only played backup roms of physical video games for consoles that I definitely own.

But if I was a pirate it would probably be because I can’t purchase certain content because of convoluted licensing agreements between various streaming platforms and I generally do pay for content given the option

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Oh you criminal! Society! https://youtu.be/jBwuLyg1Coo?si=55cdLN165kFAGhIy

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I feel like this question is way over asked and kind of boring, but my hopefully less boring answer is that I wouldn’t realistically use either. I almost exclusively use my desktop for software development, so if I wasn’t doing that I probably would use my iPad as my main “big” computer

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I can’t emphasize enough to never put anything on a credit card you don’t have the money to buy without the credit card. This is the biggest fucking trap. A credit card is a way to time and consolidate your monthly expenses and get rewards for purchases, not a way to delay them for several months. It is not a loan. Once you use it that way, you will lose your ass and it’s so hard to dig your way out of it. It can take years to fix

@danirabbit "Credit...Time-travel money, vast piles of unearned future loot stretching their tentacles back through time to ensnare us." —Paul Di Filippo

@danirabbit
I'm sure you know this, but I'll repeat it - about half the hole I dug for myself with credit cards was stupidity, but the other half was unavoidable: my paid off car needed a $900 repair, the hot water heater broke,

..and *especially* the health insurance deductibles. I'm paying $1400/month for my family's health insurance (my employer, a mom and pop tech shop, is paying $1000/month) and I start the year with a $5000 deductible before anything is covered.

I spend the whole rest of the year trying to claw back from that.

(And the way a gaggle of kids destroy grocery budgets like a plague of locusts doesn't help.)

I think “egg culture” can be really harmful and it’s not our place to speculate on someone’s gender identity uninvited like that. Lesbians especially have a long history of diverse gender expression. Masc lesbians aren’t just closeted trans men

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I’m imagining this is coming from like a 13 year old boy. Do your parents know that you’re asking women about their underwear online?

There are several reasons a woman might wear thong underwear anon-shonen, and the main one is to avoid panty lines on certain pairs of pants. I don’t find them particularly comfortable so personally I avoid them lol

Do your homework! I never did my homework and now look what I’ve become!

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I do have some songs saved that are K-pop but I don’t typically listen to a lot of it. I probably have a lot more J-rock

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@danirabbit What are you using currently for a laptop?

Women and some women-adjacent genders, but mostly women.

Why? I dunno man it’s just like that. Because there are women with short hair or body hair or more masculine style for example that I think are hot. But I just don’t like men. That’s not to say men are bad, they’re just not for me lol. I like the way women smell and how they’re soft and I like the parts they have and the sound of their voices and their brains and their faces and just women 🥰

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But also, a data plan to do what in 2004? By the only person on MySpace during school? I used to go to the computer lab during lunch with my friends to watch videos on albino black sheep. All the songs I can buy/pirate are on my pink iPod mini, because there was no music streaming. I don’t even know what you’d do on the mobile internet in 2005 tbh

I turned 18 in 2007 so 2008 was my first election cycle. I voted for Barack Obama. Republicans have never had anything in their platform that would help me or the people I love, only hurt us. And they’ve only gotten more extreme over the years. The bare minimum is upholding human rights and accepting scientific consensus and they refuse to clear that bar

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I grew up in a deeply conservative, religious household. As a child I thought I was a Christian and a Republican. As I learned more about the world outside my small town I started to deconstruct my religion. In high school I realized how wrong republicans are on moral and social issues so I thought maybe I’m a libertarian. As I learned about government and ethics in college I thought I was a democrat. As I learned about capitalism and systemic inequality I realized I’m a socialist

You can see for example Elon Musk’s impact on Tesla and how it has impacted product and the messaging in the brand as compared to when Tesla first launched. He’s also someone who has dedicated himself in his personal life and with millions of dollars to funding attack ads and campaigns against trans people. So that seems like a pretty clear message to send to the shareholders: fuck Tesla until Elon is removed

lol absolutely not. I am a lesbian which means im not attracted to men so this would not be a pleasurable experience for me. Nothing about this interests me

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