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messy, messy

happy to talk to any other critter on here, just posting whatever im into at the moment

mi toki lili e toki pona
its not this one but yall are cool too
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the realization that some niche internet community has had a bigger impact on ur life than any 'real' friend u have ever had
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re: mh-
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i honestly am not sure how many days its been since i actually was able to go to sleep at a reasonable time, it sucks
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mh-
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overwhelming sadness and regret sure does fuck with ones ability to sleep.
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dumb thing which im more emotional about than i should be
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i feel unreasonable for still thinking about this months later but it kinda bothers me that as a bday present my mother offered to buy me new boots, something which i hadnt ever had befor and was excited about, then basically just drug me around the mall until i got super overstimulated and upset and picked the first cheap thing that fit because i wanted out and was under the impression we were on a tight budget, and then only after explained to me that its normal and expected to spend a bit on boots cause good ones will last you years or decades if taken care of properly. so now i have something cheap and tacky that im a bit emberassed of thats already showing signs of coming apart instead of what i really wanted which i thought wasnt a practical option
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no electricity kinda blows
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blood, bugs, needles, bad
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going around with a syringe and taking all the blood back from the bity bugs and injecting it into myself

thatll teach em to steal from me
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re: guns
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wait im dumb, its the 4th of july, its probably fireworks
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guns
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oh i love hearing gunfire in the middle of the night, thats not concerning and distracting at all
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cartoons of milk
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re: hrt
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also kinda anxious about potential long term effects of taking pills especially antiandrogens every day. supposed to be pretty hard on your liver. being able to drop that would be nice, and tbh probably cheaper. AAs are expensive

also on a sillier note stabbing urself with a needle seems like it could be kinda hot in a way
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Edited 10 days ago
hrt
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im happy to be able to be on it but i am so fucking sick of trying to keep up with taking 3 pills on time every single day, missing doses due to either forgetting or being busy and then feeling shitty for hours, not being able to get an accurate idea of what my levels really are on blood tests due to levels fluctuating throughout the day (and the clinic is far away so long drive)

i want to switch to injections so bad
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hello today i will sing the wrong name at a birthday party and then die
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playing with the idea of using paper snowflakes as stencils, maybe can reuse some of these old shirts i never wear
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my wardrobe is about to change drastically
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ive got some tshirts i dont intend to wear anymore, some acrylic paints, and a desire to make something new
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:(
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keep feeling like theres something i could have said or done or not said or not done and really just wanting to talk at all
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selfie no ec
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repeated
Edited 21 days ago
mutual aid
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EDIT: Domain renewed! Thank you @liaizon for helping out!

Hey everyone! The date for seafoam.space's renewal is past due, and I'm currently out of funds. If any users could drop a few bucks on my Liberapay at https://liberapay.com/nixgoat/, it'd be much appreciated. Thank you.
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