<sub>Up front, please note that we sought explicit permission before even drafting this, asked for checks of drafts and redrafts, and ensured final approval before publishing this post.

Please consider this post a last-ditch plea for support and help, where all other efforts over the last month have failed spectacularly, from somebody who does not want to lose a friend, but who is themselves powerless to help in any meaningful way.

We hate that we've had to write this post, and that we're begging for help here, but we have exhausted all other options we're aware of.</sub>

Whom this is about

This post is about @lexi.

Some of you may know her already. Of those that do, some of you may know why she suddenly stopped posting for a while on fedi, but we suspect that many do not.

About Lexi

Lexi is a neurodivergent, queer, trans+ girl who is stuck in Virginia, USA. Her life to-date has been filled with neglect, abuse, and abandonment by those around her.

She began relying on self-harm as a coping mechanism... and never stopped.

Sadly, we need to give details here, so please double-check the CWs again before continuing. There's no turning back beyond this point.

Lexi's past: earlier breaks, false friendships, abuse, and sexual assault

Lexi has experienced several major mental health breaks over her life, and has been abused in many ways by those she believed cared for her.

During a break in 2019-2020, Lexi's parents responded to seeing her wounds by having her institutionalised for 8 months.

Lexi began to build up what she believed to be her first friend base in about 2020. She even entered into a relationship with somebody within this group. However, she did not realise at first just how abusive all of them, especially her partner, were being to her. And over time, they all pushed Lexi to breaking point.

When she found the strength and courage to speak up and call them out in 2023, everything went nuclear. The entire group completely lost their shit, doing everything they could to hurt her, including:

• Mocking her for self-harming and suicide attempts;
• Mocking her for her eating disorder;
• Mocking her for failing to complete school;
• Threatening to kill her; and
• Spreading lies to everybody she loved.

They even had the fucking malicious gall to say that she had been "quiet every other fucking time" they abused or mistreated her.

And then, after all of this, they abandoned her entirely.

In July 2025, Lexi tried to take her own life and very-nearly succeeded. She was sent to hospital, but instead of being given the urgent, emergency care she needed, she:

• Was left for hours without any help or assistance;
• Witnessed someone die in front of her; and
• Didn't even get her wounds treated, leading to permanent nerve damage and daily, constant neuropathic pain.

On top of this major medical neglect, she was then fobbed off to a social worker, who promised her that they wouldn't forcibly institutionalise her, but lied and did so anyway.

Lexi had to BEG her way out of that forced institutionalisation, which required her to heavily mask and play the role of the "model patient".

If you don't know how truly cruel and torturous institutionalisation is for anybody, let alone a neurodivergent, trans+, queer person in the US, please pause reading this post, look up how inhumane it is, before reading any further.

After everything above, feeling a desperate need to not be alone, Lexi accepted an offer to go to somebody's house… and was sexually assaulted (raped) 😔

We've intentionally left out a lot of stuff that Lexi has informed us about, as it's already been difficult enough for her: we don't want her to have to keep reliving, retelling, and revisiting every awful thing she's ever been through 🥺

We've only given this much info in order to make it clear just how badly Lexi has been mistreated by most people her entire life.

And this is what leads into recent events.

What happened to Lexi? The event

In early October 2025, Lexi experienced another serious mental health break and tried to take her own life again.

She was extremely dissociative, anaemic, and deprived, and remembers very little of the experience. Her friends naïvely called the authorities for assistance, despite Lexi having pleaded with them previously to never do so, based on her previous torturous experiences.

Instead of sending medical assistance, the authorities sent out cops 🤦‍♀️

In desperation, Lexi tried to end herself as swiftly as possible.

Predictably, instead of helping her, the cops proceeded to taze, physically abuse, and assault her.

Lexi does not know precisely what her friends did, but it resulted in the state being temporarily given custody of her, so that they could bypass the fact that she was an adult, and force her into being institutionalised.

Further abuse by cops

Lexi was thrown into a tiny cell, with a spit bag forced over her head. She tried to use it to strangle herself, which just led to them taking it away, leaving her even more broken and sobbing, pleading to die.

But the cops, being heinous scum, didn't just stop there. They physically, mentally, and emotionally abused her by:

• Moving her to a different cell, for which the paint, light, and sounds were neurodivergent torture;
• Forcing her to be naked for over 2 weeks;
• Feeding her food that made her throw up;
• Withholding all her meds, including:
• Antidepressants (an SSRI).
• Most of her feminising GAHT.
• All painkillers.
• Denying her basic accommodations for neurodivergence (e.g., sunglasses for light sensitivity; noise-cancelling headphones);
• Confiscating her updated passport (with her correct, legal name) and proceeding to deadname and misgender her.

Having her SSRI meds forcibly taken from her and then denied caused Lexi sudden, extreme antidepressant withdrawal. She already suffers with intense nerve pain and major sensitivity issues due to being neurodivergent, so the effects were made even worse.

It made all her sensory issues beyond overwhelming.

It was so bad that it made her brain feel like it was spasming from electric shocks over and over from the pervasive light and noise.

Her mother was able to deliver her spironolactone (an antiandrogen) a week after incarceration, but Lexi was only given 1 pill a day, despite her being prescribed 1 in the morning and 2 in the evening.

All her other meds, including additional GAHT ones (e.g., estradiol; micronised progesterone), were intentionally and maliciously withheld from her.

In terms of GAHT alone, this was a form of forced medical conversion therapy, which is considered a form of torture.

From jail to institutions

Lexi was forced to endure the following in order:

• Several weeks in jail;
• A month of involuntarily institutionalisation in one facility; and
• A further month of involuntarily institutionalisation in another institution.

After her lawyer was allowed to speak with her in jail, her friends co-ordinated with her lawyer to write letters of support about her character, making it clear that she's not a bad person and to plead for the judge to be merciful to her.

These letters ended up being presented to the judge at the case, as you'll read below, but he didn't even end up reading them 🤦‍♀️

Lexi was only released back home until the preliminary hearing date (2026-02-02) after her lawyer finally managed to convince them that holding her was unnecessary.

Trumped-up charges

In spite of being wronged, Lexi was charged with trumped up felony charges as follows:

• 1 of "malicious intent";
• 2 of "assault/battery" on officers.

Prior discussion with lawyer

Lexi's lawyer sadly gave her unreasonable hopes, advising her that:

• The authorities would be foolish to try to escalate, based on the bogus charges she'd been accused of;
• And if they did try to escalate, he'd take it to the media to make them look bad.
• He'd try to get her passport back; and
• He would try to get the felony charges dismissed on the basis of temporary insanity.

This sounded almost like good news. Surely nothing could go wrong… right?

Right?! 🥺😔

The preliminary hearing outcome

Suffice to say, it did not go well.

Lexi was given only 2 choices:

1. Jail for a year, despite doing nothing wrong.
2. A mental health bond for 2 years.

She was forced to make a decision right there and then, with no opportunity provided to think and reflect with her lawyer.

In order to avoid jail, she had no choice but to pick option 2, and had to sign legally-binding papers immediately.

Whilst a mental health bond might seem like a softer option, in reality it's just a longer, different kind of punishment for Lexi, whom -- we repeat -- did nothing wrong.

This legal bond takes away Lexi's freedoms and rights, compelling her to:

• Accept and follow every instruction they give her;
• Accept any form of "treatment" they prescribe; and
• Take any medication at any dose they require.

Furthermore, she cannot leave the US for 2 years and will be actively monitored to ensure her compliance.

Her other medical and support needs were, of course, not taken into consideration, particularly the constant pain she is in.

Her lawyer seemingly forgot his threat to go to the media about her mistreatment… or just somehow didn't consider this option unethical.

The only saving grace is that she's not been bound specifically to Virginia, though it's possible her court-mandated treatment may be based there.

And Lexi did finally at least get her passport back... for what little it's worth right now 🥺

Why Lexi needs urgent help

Lexi must attend a further stressful, painful court date in a month's time (2026-03-04), at which point all of the above will formally commence.

When it does, Lexi will begin 2 years of an even-worse hell than she's currently in.

And as it stands, Lexi will not even survive until the court date.

She is fighting a daily battle with neuropathic pain, depression, anxiety, stress, dissociation, and -- perhaps worse than all of these -- loneliness, living with parents who cannot meet, are not meeting, and will never meet her support needs.

And without the ability to leave the US, she will not be able to see her girlfriends (@lea and @wiki) at all now for over 2 years 😢

Lexi is just one bad break away from being gone forever.

What Lexi urgently needs

Lexi needs a quiet, stable safe place to escape to, away from her parents' house.

Somewhere she can hide away when she needs to be alone.
Somewhere and hang out to socialise whenever she's lonely.
Somewhere away from all the trauma.

She needs some folks, any folks, whom she can trust and rely on to around her: folks who will understand and respect her needs and boundaries.

She needs to be around others who won't judge her, criticise her, gaslight her, abuse her, or abandon her, and who won't ever call the emergency services on her again 🥺

She's had too much of this already in her life 😔

She just needs a safe place, with kind, supportive folks. And sadly it has to be within the US... as we don't know anybody who could successfully smuggle her into a safe adjacent country where she could successfully claim asylum¹.

Again, we must stress that Lexi will certainly not survive the next month even without support, let alone the next 2 years.

Reaching out

We are begging you: if you know Lexi even somewhat, please reach out to offer her support

If you're worried about overloading her, you could always reach out to her girlfriends to ask how you can help.

At a push you can reach out to us, but honestly we cannot do any more than message her here or on Signal. All we've done is try to be there for her and help a little where we can behind the scenes.

We desperately want Lexi to be able to live, but she needs a decent quality of life for that to happen.

She's not really living right now, and she hasn't been for a long time: she's just existing... and existing isn't enough of a reason when you're constantly suffering 😔

Unfortunately that is something that we are intimately familiar with ourselves.

Lexi needs help and support, urgently and desperately.

If you can offer this to her, and can promise that you will never put her at risk, then please reach out to her 🥺

Thank you 🫶

#MentalHealth #depression #anxiety #NeuropathicPain #trans #transgender #TransFem #queer #LGBTQ+ #LGBTQIA+ #neurodivergent #neurodivergence #disability #ChronicPain #ActuallyAutistic #ACAB #HealthCare #PleaseBoost #BoostsWelcome #EmergencyHelpNeeded #UrgentHelp #help #support #fediverse #USA #Virginia

¹ _{For legal reasons, we must advise that this is entirely in jest, as part of our dark humour for coping with all of this.}

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RE: https://tiggi.es/@istences/116008008407030313

a reminder that elitism is to be outlawed in any and all social circles and -interactions

its completely ok to not have a fancy nixos setup with niri, and to use something stock that works for you instead
its completely ok to use vscode instead of helix or nvim or whatever, and vice versa!
its completely ok if you do not have the spoons, energy or frankly if you just do not want to switch off of windows/linux/$distro because it feels comfy to you

do what sparks joy for you. “cringe” is not real. you are pawsome.

I am at a serious loss for words and yet I need to write something. A #eulogy, maybe.

Yesterday evening, here on Fedi, I read a #suicide note by @Crimekillz , my first girlfriend of eight years and one of my closest friends and soul mates for most of our lives.

This morning, I learned from her family that she had indeed passed away yesterday night after purposefully overdosing on medication near her home. As if for her, it started snowing here for the first time this winter just now.

I hardly know what to write at this moment, I'm sorry.

This appears as an immediate consequence of her being bullied at #39C3, but it follows a life of serious tragedy and hardships. Autism, ADHD, schizophrenia, DID; a broken home, child abuse, bullying, exclusion. Tons of unhealed trauma, and myriads of complex and contradictory personalities stacked on top of each other.

She was all that and one of the most wonderful and interesting people I ever met. She was the most important person in my life for most of my existence.

I met Jenny on the German Minecraft forums when I was 13 and she was a couple of years older than me. She was my first and only best friend. She made me realise I was queer, she was the first person I ever loved. We started dating on the 1st of March of 2015, and we were together for almost eight years. We went through the teenage years, through both our transitions, our political socialisation, our earliest life stages and experiences. We eventually moved and lived together as what we used to describe as soul mates. We wanted to build a family.

I can not overstate the absolute integral role she has played in my life, my self-discovery and journey in my identity, my teenage years and early adulthood.

While eventually we drifted apart due to different social circles and an unfortunate third-roommate situation making us move to separate apartments, we split up amicably and kept in regular contact til the very end.

Jenny was one of the most wonderful and interesting people I knew. There was no other person in my life I have had this deep of a connection to as her.

There is absolutely nothing I could write here that could possibly do her justice in any way, or all the moments we've shared together.

She was a complex person of many contradictions. She was a lifelong rebel, and a fragile, deeply vulnerable soul at heart. She was an anarchist and a nonconformist, a furry and therian, a philosopher, an agender woman, a great girlfriend and someone who would have found it rad to be called a gender terrorist, a punk and a psychonaut, a queer bean, a kind soul, a hacker and cybercriminal in the best possible sense.

I would like to extend my sincerest condolences to everyone else who knew her and most importabtly, did not contribute to her passing away.

I would like to extend a hearty fuck-you to the people in the #Chaosbubble who stood by willingly as she was excluded and bullied; to her abusers; to the enablers. To the people who gave not a single damn about her feelings, who pressured her into a life of overstimulation and constant restlessness, who excluded her for superficial reasons, who abused therapy speech and called her "problematic" for being who she was.

May she be dearly missed, and rest in power.

To quote her last public words:
"There is beauty in darkness, I want my funeral to be a celebration, make it a rave. Maybe Luna has time to DJ."